


Mountain Out Of An Anthill

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Action/Adventure, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-26
Updated: 2006-03-26
Packaged: 2019-02-02 02:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12718188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: On a strange and dangerous planet, Daniel's inspiration to solve a problem comes from an unusual source -- with unexpected results.





	Mountain Out Of An Anthill

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

"I can't believe you lost him," Jack grumped as he tramped his way down the narrow game trail, through the thick greenery, following the water-filled boot prints a blind man could track. "Have you any idea how hard it is to get a good Daniel these days, Sergeant?"

"I'm sorry, sir," Sergeant Wilson responded from behind him with a sigh. "We had almost finished packing the artefacts. I just took my eyes off him for a few seconds."

"Well, that's the first thing you learn in Daniel one-oh-one: watch him with both eyes at all times to stop him acting on these--" Jack paused, not really wanting to say 'dumb' even though the situation more than warranted it, "--ideas," he ended up stressing the word sarcastically. "Didn't I tell you that before I left?"

"Yes, sir," came the miserable reply. "But I honestly don't see what he could be doing, sir. There's been no intelligent life on this planet for thousands of years. It'll be dark soon, Colonel, and we were all briefed on the dangers of the nocturnal flora."

"I know, I know." Jack halted in his progress to look up at the bright blue sky that gave no indication of the sudden plunge into pitchy night that would happen in less than an hour's time. He was going to throttle Daniel. His fingers wrapped around his radio a tad harder than strictly necessary as he snapped, "Teal'c, you done yet?"

There was a wall of static before Teal'c's familiarly calm voice sounded faint and hissing, "The task is almost complete, O'Neill. We are shipping the last of the artefacts through the Stargate as we speak. However, your signal is very weak and there are only forty-three minutes of daylight remaining. Do you require assistance in locating Daniel Jackson?"

Jack batted a twitching vine back from his face with a swipe of his P-90. "Nah, negative on that. He couldn't have gotten much further in this mess. The trail's been closing in for the last two hundred yards. We'll hit a wall soon enough." He kicked another inquisitive vine back into the foliage. "I'll leave Wilson here as relay." He nodded at the stocky sergeant, who nodded in return then held his ground as Jack turned to go on. 

"Very well," Teal'c replied. "I will oversee the evacuation of the area then take up position at the DHD until your return."

"Acknowledged," Jack answered and the image of Teal'c standing at the DHD even after the foliage had swallowed up the Stargate danced in his mind's eye. But that wasn't going to happen. Nope, he had twenty minutes to find Daniel and another twenty to get back to the 'Gate. How far could a Daniel get in this mess?

The answer was too damn far. Twenty-six minutes had passed before Jack finally found Daniel in a small clearing off the now non-existent game trail. After hacking his way through thick greenery for a few long minutes that seemed to stretch for hours, Jack was about ready to give Daniel the same treatment as the treacherous vines when his attention widened from his quarry to take in the whole scene before him.

Ants. In the centre of the clearing was the biggest anthill Jack had ever seen. It towered above him, easily twice his own height. Any sane man would turn and run like hell at the sight; Daniel, of course, was on his belly, peering down one of the damn entrance holes.

"Daniel, what are you doing?" Jack hissed as he moved around to see the huge honkin' ant standing in the mouth of the tunnel, waving it's antennae mere inches from Daniel's face.

There was no response from either Daniel or the ant, each of whom seemed to be enthralled by the other. 

"Daniel!" Jack barked, finally making his friend blink around at him. 

"Oh, hi, Jack."

"Don't 'Oh, hi, Jack' me. Get away from that thing," he growled as the ant waved its antennae in his direction. "We've got to go. Now. That whole dark, night, man-eating flora thing -- remember?"

"Yeah, but--"

"No buts, Daniel."

"Jack--"

"Daniel."

"I think we're communicating here."

"No we're not or we'd be halfway to the 'Gate by now."

"Not us." Daniel turned his attention back to the ant. "Us. It's kind of difficult to describe but I think I'm getting some kind of telepathic flashes, images in my mind, something akin to pictography."

Jack blinked. "Well, I'm very happy for you both but can your new bug buddy communicate with the plant life around here and stop the killer tomato wannabes from eating us like a couple of chocolate pretzels?"

"Ah, no."

"So?"

"So..."

"So let's go!" Jack gesticulated urgently towards the trail. 

"In a minute." Daniel went back to staring at the ant. "If I'm right and I'm not just imagining this after cataloguing pottery pieces for five days straight, I think--"

"Now!" Jack moved forward with the intention of hauling Daniel up and dragging him all the way back to the Stargate if he had to. However, just as he started to bend down, reaching for the shoulder of Daniel's jacket, Daniel suddenly jumped to his feet, spitting and coughing. Jack wasted no time in backing him away from the anthill and taking aim at the offending bug.

"No, it's okay," Daniel spluttered, pushing Jack's P-90 away. "I don't think it was attacking me."

"It just fired bug juice at you!" Jack glared at the ant, which seemed content to sit in the mouth of the tunnel, waving its antennae at them. "What do you think it was doing? Inviting you in for a beer?"

"I don't know what it was doing but I'm fine." Daniel wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "It hasn't made any aggressive overtures and it still seems quite calm."

Jack eyed the bug warily before frowning at Daniel. "You sure you're okay?"

Daniel nodded. "It's not bitter and I think I got a flash of--"

"Yeah, whatever, let Doc Fraiser sort it out. Let's move out." Jack manoeuvred them both towards the game trail. "We've only got a few minutes until flora midnight snack time and Teal'c will be getting nervous."

By the time they reached the Stargate clearing, Jack was sick of hearing Daniel's voice. The man had hardly stopped to draw breath since they left the anthill and had even managed to keep up his yapping as they moved double time through the thick undergrowth.

"So, while I'm not sure if it is some kind of telepathy, possibly using chemical releases as a kind of catalyst--" Daniel paused to gulp a few breaths as they halted by the DHD and Teal'c punched the last key before activating the Stargate. "There was definitely something there."

"Ah, well, it's a crying shame that your bug pals will have to wait until after the rainy season to talk to you again," Jack said brightly as they walked up the steps to the platform upon which the activated Stargate sat shimmering. "Shouldn't be much longer than a year, though." He smiled at Daniel's disbelieving blink.

"What?"

"Colonel O'Neill is quite correct, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said as Sergeant Wilson stepped into the Stargate. "Do you not recall General Hammond advising us of this fact before we set out?"

"Yes, of course, but that was before we discovered intelligent life, or at least the possibility of it," Daniel replied. "This changes the whole nature of the mission and the designation of the planet. The ants back on Earth have a highly complex social structure and if these ants have evolved the communication skills to further develop that structure it's, well, it's worth looking into, don't you think?"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at the suddenly darkening sky. "That may be so. However, it does not change the fact that the sun is setting." He stepped through the Stargate.

"You were there, Jack. You saw what happened," Daniel said just as the sun blinked away and the darkness seemed to engulf everything around the platform.

"I saw a bug spray something in your face, Daniel," Jack replied by the light of the Stargate as he took hold of Daniel's upper arm and they stepped into the shimmering puddle. "And you're not going to convince me that psychotic bugs are a good thing," he finished on the metal ramp of the SGC gate room. 

"Telepathic, not psychic, and aren't you the least bit intrigued by the idea?"

"No, and I meant psychotic," Jack reiterated before walking down the ramp to meet General Hammond's disapproving frown face to face.

"You gentlemen took your own sweet time," Hammond said sternly, sparing a look for Daniel.

"Ah, sorry about that, sir." Jack smiled and winced. "Daniel was communing with the natives and we sort of--"

"Natives?" Hammond queried just before Daniel wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth.

At least that's the way it looked to Jack as he numbly finished saying, "--Lost track of time?" into a room in which you could hear a pin drop. Or, in this case, hear a general's vein pop out the side of his neck.

"Oh my god, General, I-I-I'm sorry!" Daniel gasped as he broke the kiss a moment later, jerking back as if Hammond was on fire. Judging by the heat flaring up the usually unshakeable general's cheeks, he may well have been. 

"Doctor Jackson," Hammond spoke evenly, "I think you should go to the infirmary."

"I don't know what... I was--"

"Now," the general shifted his gaze to Jack. "Colonel O'Neill?" 

"On our way, sir!" Jack replied smartly before ushering Daniel out the room under the shocked stares of the SGC command staff.

* * *

Daniel felt fine -- especially for a man who had just kissed his general in front of half the SGC. Okay, so thinking about that gave him a thumping headache that made him glad he was lying down in a quiet corner of the infirmary while Doctor Fraiser double-checked all the tests that said there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. Of course there was nothing wrong with him. Kissing General Hammond was something he did every day. Oh yes. Nothing out of the ordinary about that. 

Groaning a sigh, he rubbed at the throbbing tension headache that had settled itself between his eyes. This all led back to the ant colony. He knew it. If only he could think...

Unfortunately, all he wanted to think about was sex. His throbbing headache only made him think about other throbbing things that, in turn, made him shift uncomfortably between the sheets. Even if they had to take away his clothes for chemical analysis, there was no need to leave him to the indignities of hospital nightwear. 

"Hey." Sam smiled as she crossed the room towards him, a pile of his clothes in her arms.

"Hey." Daniel dredged up a smile in return.

"Thought you might need these," she said, placing the clothes on the table at the foot of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Thanks and I'm better. Not thinking about kissing any other commanding officers if that's what you mean." Daniel sat up. "Still nothing on the lab analysis?"

"Not a thing." Sam folded her arms and shook her head. "Looks like we can't use the old alien chemical excuse this time."

"And it's such a handy one too," Daniel sighed before catching Sam's eye. "What?"

"I can't believe you kissed General Hammond."

"Believe me, it wasn't something I was planning on doing."

"No, sorry." Sam shook her head. "I meant why the general? Why not the colonel or Teal'c, or Sergeant Wilson for that matter?"

"I...hadn't really thought about it." Daniel frowned.

"Well, I have. You said you thought the ants might have been using some kind of telepathy. That's what brought you to them."

"Uh-huh."

"So what if the chemical sprays are a kick-start for a stronger telepathic suggestion?"

"That's what I thought!"

"What?" Jack asked as he joined them. 

"What?" Daniel blinked back.

"What what? You think that bug wanted you to kiss the general?" Jack went on incredulously. "It orchestrated all of this in its little buggy mind?" 

"No, I don't think it planned this. Obviously. Actually, I'm beginning to think that I might have been a little...overzealous on the telepathy front, but image suggestions strengthened by chemical markers are still a valid possibility."

"Oh, of course." Jack nodded. "Daniel, your new friend has a wicked sense of humour."

"Well, something has to explain his unusual behaviour," Sam pointed out.

"Yeah, that bug sprayed him with something," Jack said firmly. "It knocked him for a loop and he acted a little...out of the ordinary, but he's fine now. Aren't you?"

"Well, actually..."

"No," Jack growled a sigh and rubbed the side of his head. "Doc Fraiser says you're fine. All her tests say so."

"Yeah, but--"

"There's nothing wrong with you."

"Oh, apart from the fact that I kissed...you know."

"That was then and this is now. End of story," Jack finished with certainty then squinted at Daniel a little worriedly. "You don't want to kiss any more generals, do you?"

"No," Daniel snapped then whispered low so a passing nurse wouldn't overhear, "but I can't stop thinking about sex."

Jack stared at him. "With...generals?"

"No."

"Oh. Good."

"Then with whom?" Carter asked with a frown. "If you don't mind my asking." She smiled at Daniel before catching sight of Jack's raised eyebrow. "It might help with the chemical motivation," she explained with no little embarrassment.

"Ah," Jack said. 

Then Daniel was closing his eyes, trying to track down his feelings in the matter and conjure up an image that suited his desire. He couldn't find one. When he opened his eyes again, Teal'c was standing beside Jack and Sam. "Teal'c," he greeted the big Jaffa.

"I trust you are well, Daniel Jackson?"

Teal'c had no sooner smiled at Daniel's nod than Jack choked out, "Teal'c? Not Teal'c?"

"No, it's not Teal'c," Daniel quickly said. "Actually, it's no one."

"Oh." Jack frowned.

"You mean...Oh." Sam nodded then looked away while Teal'c just looked back at them, completely unperturbed. 

"Perhaps I should retrieve the assistance of Doctor Fraiser if your minds are being affected by a malady that has thus far remained undetected. I am indeed Teal'c and I am indeed here."

"Of course you are," Jack smiled in a wide, unsettling manner, but Daniel was too busy brainstorming to take much notice.

"That's it, that's it!" he yelped. "It's Amon-Ra! It's divine masturbation!"

"Ra?" Jack scowled. "Didn't we kill him?" He looked to Teal'c and Sam. "I distinctly remember killing him."

"No, not Ra, Amon-Ra or Amon, the King of the Egyptian Gods -- or at least the mythic version of him." Daniel went on excitedly. He knew his hands were flapping around but he didn't care. "The-the-the-- He, Amon, first came to prominence as the god of Thebes in Upper Egypt, where he was worshipped as a fertility deity. He was supposed to have brought the world to life through divine masturbation."

"Don't you mean 'administration'?" Jack queried.

Daniel frowned. "What?"

"Divine administration? You said...oh." Jack dug his hands into his pockets. "Carry on."

"Yeah...okay." Daniel blinked at Jack another moment before continuing, "By the eighteenth dynasty, Amon had become the supreme god of the whole of Egypt and was identified with the sun god as Amon-Ra, even though Ra did have a separate following."

"Ah." Jack nodded to Teal'c. "That explains it."

"That may be," Teal'c returned, "but I have never heard of a Goa'uld named Amon. There was only Ra." 

"Exactly!" Daniel said. "It all ties in perfectly. In the Goa'uld version, I think fertility means power as well as life and birth."

"You think Amon is the original Goa'uld you were trying to find?" Sam asked. "The one who--"

"Found the first naquada infected host, yes! Think about it, Amon, either by design or chance, finds himself in a walking power pack. We know that the Goa'uld never invented anything themselves so it stands to reason that the naquada powered devices were created by the original naquada enhanced hosts. We also know that the Goa'uld somehow absorbed their naquada quotient some time later in their evolution because we couldn't find any traces of it in the specimens we found on their suspected home world."

"So, Daniel Jackson, you are hypothesising that Amon was the genesis of the Goa'uld as we know them?" Teal'c asked.

Daniel nodded. "Yes. Either by giving the other Goa'uld the incentive to find a naquada infected host of their own, or by spawning naquada carrying offspring, he brought fertility to his people. Which, in the Goa'uld way of thought, means the power for conquest."

"What a guy," Jack commented dryly. "What happened to him?"

"He disappeared." Daniel shrugged. "In Egyptian mythology, he was gradually usurped by Ra."

"Oh, great," Jack sighed. "You're telling me there's another power hungry snake waiting in the wings?"

"Well, probably more than one." Daniel explained beneath Jack's glower, "Ra also usurped Aten who was another sun god."

"Ah. Anyone else?"

Daniel was getting ready to shrug again, not really wanting to roll off a long list of names Jack really wouldn't like, when Sam spoke up. "Do you know any of the Amon myths? Maybe there's some way we could track down the original naquada carrying host's home world? Sorry, sir," she belatedly apologised to Jack for interrupting him, "but this is unbelievable. If Daniel is right and we can find--"

"It's okay, Major, I get it." Jack nodded while Daniel scoured his mind for any myths relating to Amon. He was halfway across the infirmary floor, on his way to get the references he thought were in his office, when Jack called him back. "Daniel? Clothes."

* * *

"This is incredible," General Hammond spoke quietly to Jack as they stood by the doorway of Daniel's office, watching Daniel, Carter and Teal'c cross reference mythologies, Goa'uld texts and star charts. "If they can actually find the naquada carrying host's home world, do you know what it could mean?"

"Oh, a whole lot of naquada, sir?"

"And maybe the allies with whom we can finally take the fight to the Goa'uld."

"Maybe." Jack idly scratched his ear. "But I wouldn't get my hopes up yet. All we're going on so far, General, is myth and ant inspiration."

"That may be so but I'm willing to let Doctor Jackson and Major Carter see this play out. The potential gains could be staggering, Colonel."

"Yes, sir." Jack nodded as Hammond moved off. "So, tell me, sir," he called after the general's retreating back, "was it worth the sacrifice on your part?"

Hammond turned around slowly. "I don't know what you're talking about, Colonel O'Neill, but, if I did, I'd say you were referring to an incident that has been deleted from the logs and no longer exists in the memory of this base."

Jack dug his hands into his pockets and frowned as the general marched away. "I didn't get that memo."


End file.
